the drains

this week has been characterised by three days of not cycling. that’s not riding the bike to work. i did it on monday, but for the rest of the week i have resolutely abandoned the fixed wheel and gone for the comforts of an overhot car driven by a colleague. as a result, i’ve had around two hours extra per day. this is how i have filled my time:

– i put my three summer bikes into storage, this meant placing them carefully into a tiny cupboard that also holds my clothes. it’s totally pornographic in there, crank arms are wedged between pliant rear triangles, handlebars gently nudging into headtubes, wheels and spokes interlocked in a soft embrace, the smell of intermingled chain lubricant

– i emptied the cat litter tray because of the overwhelming stink of catpiss. whilst doing so i glared silently at the cat, accusingly even. i also cursed my cousin for not telling me about this aspect of cat-caring when he dropped mr catkins round at my house a few weeks ago.

– i tidied up the kitchen; throwing away various bits of paper that have come through the letter box, one to ‘dr miraiah agounamgabera’ and one addressed only to ‘the oil buyer’. the latter excited me no end, for a few brief minutes i felt like george clooney in syriana, ready to cut a deal with the a-rabs and make some people hustle.

– i tried, and failed to unblock the drain, it made me totally gag. it was putrescent, a horrid mix of washing up powder and assorted foodstuffs. i had go elbow deep, and even then couldn’t manage to locate the blockage, so i poured an entire bottle of something incredibly caustic down there. here’s hoping my landlady doesnt go arm deep tomorrow, she may end up with nothing more than a tiny stump for an arm and no solution to the blockage

– i ate four quorn scotch eggs in one sitting and had bread and butter pudding for dessert

– i watched the natural world and it as all about penguins. i went to the cinema with Poire Belle for to see ‘An Education’ and it was good.

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