On fear of racing after a lengthy lay off and a sense of not knowing

A startsheet popped through the letter box today. This is a rare occasion; rarer than finding a Rhode Island Red with a mouth full of molars. In days of yore the CTT would send out all startsheets by carrier pigeon upon receipt of 5 shekels. Nowadays it’s all techno techno techno with online entry and results being the norm. It’s quite refreshing to receive a bona fide artifact.

It’s also a rare occasion because I haven’t done any races since the beginning of July where I managed two in three days. These were a blip, with the previous race being at the end of May. It’s been a frugal time. My last race was disappointing, i was resolutely off the pace and decided to stop and have a breather (after the race, not during). I had been struggling to manage any longer distances and felt that there was no point flogging a dead horse.

As things currently stand, I’m gearing up for hill climb season and have been training fairly studiously. Ultimately it doesn’t count for anything until you line up for a race and see exactly where the legs take you. This is partly because I train on ‘feel’. It’s an anachronistic approach, very much in keeping with posted startsheets. I have a race next weekend but have no idea what sort of form I might have. This makes me nervous and fretful. I have been working hard and my weight is where it should be. I feel as though I’m climbing well. My first hillclimb is next Thursday, followed by a couple of short distance time trials. I’m optimistic, but nervous.





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