Commodity Fetishism and the AudiWeight Urgelstadt Mamil Bongo Splurge

In recent years there have been a number of bike/car mash-ups. I seem to remember Ferrari and Colnago (the Ferralnago) producing something utterly revolting fairly recently. The genre plumbed the depths with the ‘land rover’ range of bicycle-shaped objects; marketed under the noms-de-plume of the ‘Blenheim’, the ‘Ascot’, and the ‘Windsor’. I’m not sure my irony filter could cope with the experience of riding a land rover bike whilst being shouted at by a barbour jacket in a Discovery 4×4.

I assumed we had reached ‘peak’ bike-car, or bar, or cike, but no… The gentle and restrained volk at Audi have teamed up with those purveyors of reasonably priced wheelsets, Lightweight, to bring forth the AudiWeight Urgelstadt, a veritable slice of monied Teutonic sturm und drang.

Audiweight Cike

It looks OK. It costs quite a bit of money. It wouldn’t pass the ‘I found it in a skip’ test, coming in at a shade under 17,000 Euros. I also don’t think it takes mudguards or has rack bosses. The AudiWeight Urgelstadt has no purpose beyond advertising two key attributes: disposal income and rank stupidity. It is an object devoid of purpose, at odds with what it purports to be, unraceable and unrideable. It’s a simulacra of a bicycle up there with almost anything by Storck, but especially the proposed new Storcklaren Supercike, the ‘Culture Storck’. However, any of these bikes would be suitable for the ‘race the world‘.

If you see someone riding one, you have permission to dole out the Team Cinzano pump-in-the-spokes trick.

The Italians are coming! On Super Cikes!

8 thoughts on “Commodity Fetishism and the AudiWeight Urgelstadt Mamil Bongo Splurge

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  1. Ach. This anti-German attitude annoys me. Ein volk, ein reich, ein sub-21. You’ve just lost one of of your four readers (being halb-deutsch and quick to anger).

    1. I don’t think this post is anti-German, just anti expensive stuff and consumer fetishism, and I wasn’t using volk in an ‘ein volk’ way, because I wouldn’t do that. But apologies if I have caused offence by not being offensive. I like Germany and Germans, especially Jens Vogt, Kraftwerk and Walter Benjamin.

  2. Having just got back from a week in Mallorca, I could see this bike fitting in nicely there. So many BMCs and Canyons. So much bongo. Not many aero riders though.

  3. This bike is almost as hilarious as the Mazda sports car marketed at “cyclists” who actually drive their bikes somewhere then ride them, preferably downhill. Nonsense. A real Vorsprung durch Bullshit and about as far from cycling’s modest, no car, one bike roots as you can get without completely losing your rational brain to its insatiable, salivating reward and status regions. Traumfahhrad ist dies nicht.

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