Keep Your Pecker Up

Riding to work in all weathers has its challenges, especially during the Avon monsoon season. Recently some other ‘hardy’ souls have taken to riding their motorbikes to work and then hanging wet garments on the pegs in the changing room. Previously I had seen these pegs as my right of primogeniture, so was none too pleased to see some latter-day Jacob draping their Belstaff languidly in my ‘wardrobe’. I was even more displeased that the run-off from the jacket soaked my socks and shoes which i didn’t discover until i got home. I had to ride home in my Duchamp work socks. This may well be a first world problem.

One of the other problems faced by the hardy commuter is remembering to take key items to work each morning. The key items being socks and pants, the most important of which is clearly pants. Today i opened the Carradice on arrival only to find a pants and socks shaped void where there should have been fresh pants and socks. Normally I have a set of emergency smalls in my locker, but clearly at some point in the past I had used the emergency smalls and neglected to top up the cache. As a result, I had to go commando all day. It made me feel queasy. I am sorry to have to share this with you, but I am trying to ensure that no other cyclists experience the same traumatic experience I have had to go through today. Furthermore, I had an appraisal today. All i could think about was that I might be doing well why thank you and you might be pleased with my work BUT I’M NOT WEARING ANY PANTS. NO PANTS.

The forgetting of underpants is proper elephant in the work room territory. it’s not something you can share with your boss – “Oh yeah, everything’s fine, apart from I’m not wearing any underwear. How do you like that? Think about it, no pants’. It’s an undignified and solipsistic activity. I made it through the day, just about. I don’t like the fact that there is no margin for error. Life is much more comforting with a decent pair of pants. I also discovered that zips do up very quickly and can undo very slowly and painfully. I shall top up the cache on Monday to avoid a repeat.

This weekend sees base club on Sunday. I shall test the new Gorepath and the new tights. Cycling doesn’t get more exciting than this.

On the GorePath

I duly sucked it up and bought the Gore Path jacket on Kieran’s recommendation.

I will be wearing it early next week and will submit a formal judgement of its retard level once i’ve worn it properly.

i wore my older endura luminous commuting jacket – a bad buy, too big, too nasty – on my longer ride to work the other day. I ended up sweating like a fat man in Patisserie Valerie. It was disgusting. I had to wash my newly washed cycling clothes that very evening.

The Gore Path better do the business in wicking away the stench of enclosed cyclist, otherwise Kieran’s for the high jump.

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